It feels a little bit like very time we get over one problem another one surfaces and we're right back at square one with Jude. I'm having a hard time coping with his reflux and how bad it seems to be getting, not better. Now, despite the three or four different meds he's tried, the reflux seems to be geniunely hurting him. When he refluxes his whole body tenses up and if he spits-up he starts to cry or sometimes even scream. I hate seeing my baby in pain.
We've demanded a swallow study from our pediatrician because if he's burning his through it's possible that he's gathering bacteria with the cross-over of milk into his lungs. The last thing I want to happen is for Jude to have compromised lungs with winter approaching so swiftly.

Things haven't exactly been going smoothly with my IUD, either, and I just got it. The first night I had it I felt for the strings (which are really more like thin wires) and they were so far up and close to my cervix that I could barely feel them with the tip of my middle finger. The following night I felt like I was being stabbed much lower down and when I felt for the strings they were only an inch and a half or so away. I don't know if the IUD is slipping out of my uterus or if the strings just unfurled or something and need to be trimmed. I guess I'll find out on Tuesday. If it is coming out I'm not going to try to get another one. It isn't worth the discomfort if my body is just going to expell it.

I changed my tongue ring for the first time today, that was interesting. Getting the new bar in was easier than I thought but trying to screw the ball on was ridiculously hard. Eh, practice will always make perfect. Or at least better.

Today, at the mall (or I guess yesterday, it IS one in the morning) I ran into an ex-friend. I played friendly and we talked for a few moments but it was pretty awkward. I realized that different people always have different views on a situation. She thinks her boyfriend broke up with her because she got her G.E.D., which is partly true, but he broke up with her because she broke an agreement they had by dropping out and moving out of the house where she was staying while he was at bootcamp. She also stole things from the people that had been letting her live with them rent free. I would have broken up wit her too. Still, she told me the Petco she's working at is hiring and really needs people to work. I'll probably apply. Hopefully I'll have a better chance at getting the job if I know an employee, probably not though.

I finally watched Mamma Mia and was rather unimpressed. Most of the actors/actresses had very little vocal talent. Probably better on stage, I'll have to see for myself.

So, I'm really disappointed with the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novels. They were absolutely fantastic for a while but somewhere since the seventh or eighth book they turned into soft-core porn novels. Great, if that's what you're interested in reading, but I didn't get into the series because I wanted to read about sex. I don't know how, but the author also managed to make the character into a Mary-Sue as the series went on, I'm almost completely sure that she didn't start out that way. As it stands, I'm two books away from what I hope is the end of the series (17 books in) so I can't just stop reading, I want to know how it ends. Stupid, I know, but I'm not a non-commital person.

Special K cereal is actually pretty delicious, at least the flavor I tried (cinnamon pecan). I bought about seven different flavors so I eat breakfast more often and to help me lose some of this baby weight. I've lost twenty pounds since Jude was born, but it was all water weight so it doesn't count. I also bought some sweat-shorts to work out in. I'm taking steps to make a healthier, happier me. When I'm back down at least to my pre-pregnancy weight I'll feel a lot better about myself, but my goal is 120lbs and that's close to fifty pounds away. Only thirty to pre-pregnancy though. I want to have it off by Jude's first birthday, I think nine months is a reasonable goal. After all, it took that long to put it on.

Yesterday I had an IUD inserted at Planned Parenthood. In the early morning hours before my appointment I browsed the internet trying to find information on the placement itself and how women experienced it as well as what happened in the later days and weeks. Needless to say, I scared the absolute hell out of myself and did not want to have the damn thing placed. To make matters worse, I had the beginnings of a migraine and pretty severe cramping, it made me want less and less to go in.
I didn't really have much of a choice though, my mother was adament about me getting the birth control and I knew that if we didn't go in she would be huffy and pissy all day. I have an eleven week old son, I don't need to deal with a forty year old baby, too.
In the waiting room of Planned Parenthood my heart was absolutely racing, my throat was tight and I felt as though I would throw up the second I tried to get up, let alone drink the gatorade I had brought to tide me over until we could get something to eat. When I was finally called back (more than fifteen minutes late) I could barely answer questions because my voice was so shaky and when I had to strip down and get on the table I thought I was going to faint. The adrenaline rush only got worse when the doctor came in and got everything ready to go. She answered all my questions and then we began the insertion procedure.
I experienced about forty over-all seconds of severe cramping when she inserted the sound (to measure the length of my uterus) and when she inserted the IUD. As soon as she removed all of the objects I was perfectly fine, no cramping at all, although I was pretty dizzy for a few minutes, probably the adrenaline. Since then I've had some heavier bleeding then I was having before and some more painful cramps but it's worth ot for five years of not having to worry about getting pregnant again. I don't need another little raggamuffin.

During all this, Derek was home with the baby so my mom and I decided to go get some shopping done (I only had ONE pair of underwear). We got our necessities and then hit the mall where I got some inconspicious, plastic tongue bars and we split some Chinese food. The Chinese was just short of not being very good at all. When we finally got home (about four hours after initially leaving) we returned home to find the baby asleep on Derek's chest and that we had somehow managed to lose the tongue bars (not a huge loss, they only cost $4 at Hot Topic, YAY SALES!).

Jude was exceptionally fussy yesterday, I'm pretty sure it's because he's cutting his very first teeth (in the back, of all places. I don't think that's normal). He cried a lot, which is unusual for him and the only way he would stop was if we took him outside to look at the trees and constantly bounced him. I'm a little worried that he'll be like that today, I have a migraine and just don't know how useful I'm going to be with a screamig baby. D: We had to schedule yet another appointment for Jude's reflux, despite his being on medicine for it and getting rice cereal in his bottles he's still spitting up and it seems like it's beginning to hurt his throat now. I've heard pretty terrible things about swallow studies for infants, but I guess if that's what it comes down to then we'll do whatever it takes to make sure Jude is okay. I don't want bacteria to grow in his lungs and compromise his system come winter. The last thing I need is for my baby to get seriously ill.

I've applied for a couple of jobs in hope that I'll have a way to socialize while I do online classes. Considering that Jude has come to associate Derek with being the caregiver and me as the play-person it should work out pretty well. I've applied for places close by, most of which I can get to on foot, if not by bus. If I get lucky one of these places will hire me, but I am a 16 year old mom with no previous work experience, it could take a little while or be a little hard. Oh well, I've got plenty of time and I love spending it with my family anyways.

It's kind of stupid but I can't wait until I can have another baby and watch him/her grow the way Jude is growing. I miss having a needy, little-bitty newborn to cuddle and whatnot, but I'm also pretty glad that Jude is a little more dependant and it's easier to figure out what he needs. I'm still very glad that I got the IUD and I'm especially glad that we can wait to plan more for our family. It's very important to me that I get my career underway before we have another baby.

Anyways, more late today!

Sarah Wears Pants